Exactly What I Need

Exactly What I Need

Hi! I’m Shannon, the financial nerd of Bare All!

So…. wtf is a financial planner doing with a yogi and a life coach on a 10-day road trip across Western Canada?

Exactly what I need.

Sept 15th, 2010 I quit my high rollin’, super secure Bay Street job and launched a (supposed to be) one year project called The Barter Babes Project. A project where I gave financial advice to over 300 women in one year in exchange for a good or service instead of cash. Yes. I lived without money for a whole year.

I always planned to go back to Bay Street at the end of 2011 once the project was over.

My plan was to: “Get the fun out of my system”. Stop playing. Get real and get serious because by 30, I need to have my shit together.

What did “getting serious” mean to 25 year-old Shannon?

  1. A well-paying salaried position on Bay Street (with bonus of course and sick benefits)
  2. A husband
  3. A house
  4. A car
  5. A baby
  6. A banging bod. Oh, and I always have shaved legs and well-manicured nails.

Yep. Legit… this is what I thought happiness errr… fulfillment or whatever you want to call it looks like.

Well, I turn thirty in four months. I’ve got a wonderful husband (who is ok with the unshaved legs) and I lease a car.

But, for all other items, I guess I have to lose 10 pounds, while getting pregnant, only to sell my first born for a down payment on a house in Toronto and go back to Bay Street so I can afford the property tax?

N’EST PAS!!!

I fucking love being an entrepreneur. I’m 100% okay with not owning a house in Toronto (as I still can’t really make the financial argument for it compared to my rent) and as for the bangin bod… I’ve finally grown up enough to stop giving a shit about what I think other people think of the way I look in a bikini – relief.

The only thing on this list that I truly catch myself daydreaming about is the baby.

I want kids.

I want kids, but I’m terrified.

I never feared children until last year. My sister had a baby and her entire life changed. I don’t know what naïve part of me thought that life for her would continue on as it had before, only now she had a cute baby to put on instagram instead of tasty meals.

I was genuinely shocked by how much her life changed (I know right?) and it upset me. It scared the crap out of me. Would I have to change that much if I had kids? YES!!!

I feel like I’m going to have to give up so much of what is awesome about life.

I heart: Obsessing about/planning my business 24/7, sleeping 7 hours a night, traveling (not to Disney land), having too much wine on dates, biking home at 2am on empty streets, reading a book in the bathtub (again with wine), sex – whenever! And, perhaps most importantly, the time and energy to be a good friend and family member.

These are luxurious parts of my life that I didn’t realize may have to change.

I want kids. I know I do because when I think of myself 5 years from now there are ALWAYS kids in my life and Future Shannon seems really thrilled about the whole thing.

The problem is, I don’t know how to become Future Shannon. I just can’t reconcile the person I am now to the person I think I will be/have to be?

It’s a frustrating conundrum. To be so scared of something you so desire.

Recently, however, I realized that I make good decisions when I’m scared. So far, every time something has really scared me (like, wake up at 3am fear) and I’ve gone for it anyways; it’s always been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made:

Using my student loan to travel to Japan, moving to Toronto, quitting my job, bartering for an entire year with no money, becoming an entrepreneur, running retreats with a yogi and a life coach, getting married, writing this really honest post.

I truly believe that if I’m not scared, I’m not really living.

This is why I’m doing this road trip. It scares me.

It came up at The Dunn Right Inn on July 28th. Naturally, my knee-jerk reaction was “No, I can’t”.

NO

I can’t take 10 days off work (re: Fear that I’m not good enough)

I can’t spend that much money (re: Fear that people may judge my spending habits)

I can’t be that irresponsible. (re: Fear that maybe I’m not ready to “settle down and get serious”)

But then, all of a sudden (after two beers), I’m like. “YES… YES!!! This is THE EXACT reason why I’m an entrepreneur, living in the city, without a mortgage or a baby! So I can do crazy shit like this!!!!

So, here I am – ready for a real adventure with two of my heroes for 10 days. I’m going to kick some shiz off that bucket list and try to figure out how 29 year-old Shannon can still exist with babies.

Come along for the ride!

1 Comment

  1. Wow! Amazing I think you will do well – so much depends on being able to see beyond the obvious and safe tried and true solutions. Initially I see this is more difficult when you don’t have enough sleep -first few years with child – so plan some sleep and planning breaks ;-) Bon voyage!

    Reply

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